Husbands, Love Your Wives

 


I have read and seen a lot recently about the Biblical relationship between husbands and wives, and I often feel like the people who have a lot to say are too selective in their choice of verses to quote. Too often, I have seen people quote from Ephesians 5, but only use verses 22 through 24--the verses that tell women that they are to submit to their husbands in everything--and stop there. If those are the only verses you reference to talk about the subject of marriage, then I pray that you never get married.

To be completely frank, men who only reference verses 22 - 24 disgust me. For me, the only verse I need to remember is verse 25. My job as a husband is not to be Angie's boss. My job is to love her and to give myself for her. Since 2:30 p.m. on October 19, 2002, the goal of every decision I have made should be to do what is best for Angie.

I want to be the first to admit that I have failed in that goal on numerous occasions, but even there, I will say there have been times where I have not only been selfish, but I have also refused to admit it. I am sorry for the times when I have not put Angie first, and I beg forgiveness from both her and God for those times. Worst of all is knowing that I am sure I will do it again.

In my mind, the important thing about this entire passage in Ephesians is that the two sides have to work together. If I am not loving Angie like Christ loves the church, then why should she be bound to submit to me? On the other hand, if I give myself for her in everything I do, then why would she not want to submit? My role as a husband and father is to love my family sacrificially, and the entire hierarchy hinges on me. When I submit to God first, my behaviors and decisions will always be what is best for my wife and children. When I choose what is best for my family, they can willingly submit to God's plan with me.

Heavenly Father, Some days, it's easy for me to put Angie and the kids ahead of me. Other days, I am either too blind or stupid or stubborn to see that I am putting my wants before them. And on other days, I am totally confused about what to do. On every one of those days, Lord, I pray that you guide me to follow you first, knowing that you want what's best for all of us. Thank you for loving all of us so much that you gave yourself for us, and I pray that you give me that same sacrificial spirit. In the saving name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That Light Shines in the Darkness

Image
  My favorite poem includes the phrase "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep." This year, I have experienced much of the darkness of God's woods, along with its loveliness and depth, but one thing has remained true: Jesus is my light shining in the darkness. I may not be able to see what might be around the next turn, but the darkness will not overcome my guiding light. For the past few weeks, I have not written as much as when I started recording this journey, and part of the reason is that I have wandered a little too much in the darkness. Once again, things have not gone the way I would have planned, and I have allowed the twisting path through the woods to cause me to become scared and anxious, instead of looking where the light shines. Today, I feel like the woods are a little less dense, and it is easier to see where I am supposed to be heading. I am not out of the darkness of the woods yet, but it feels like the trees are spread a little further apart. All I have t...
Read more

He Will Turn the Hearts of Fathers to Their Children

Image
Yesterday was the first day of classes at both Appalachian State University and NC State University, and I spent a large portion of my day thinking about and praying for both Rayne and Abe, our two sons. Both of these young men have overcome some major obstacles to make it to college, and I am beyond proud of the work, both academic and personal, that each of them has done to make it this far. I feel truly blessed to know that both boys are starting on the path to adulthood, and even if they don't need me by their side at all times, I pray that they know that I am right behind them, cheering them on. Truthfully, yesterday was a very hard day for me because it reminded me of the contrast between the two boys' situations. I sent a text to both boys to remind them that we love them, we are proud of them, and we are praying for them. According to my phone, Rayne read his text a little before he went to his first college class. Unfortunately, it appears that Abe has blocked my text ...
Read more

Be Still

Image
  Our pastor referenced this verse in the last sermon of his "Trust the Process" series. Truthfully, it was not the main verse of the message, but for me, it was one more reminder that God sees me. He knows my deepest pains, He knows my deepest desires, He knows my deepest fears, He knows my deepest anxieties, and He knows my deepest needs. When I really focus on this verse, I am reminded that those pains, desires, fears, anxieties, and needs are really not mine to worry about. God tells me to be still because I know that He is God. For a long time, I have said that this is my favorite verse. Now, it not only reminds me that I need to approach life's challenges calmly, but it also reminds me that I am not God. I am NOT the one to be exalted. For most of my life, I have been a very easy-going person who doesn't let much worry me. I used to think of this verse as my kind of "motto" in life, explaining why I didn't worry about things--I was just being still...
Read more