Be Wise, My Son

 

I first encountered today's verse on one of my walks in late May, and I knew immediately that this verse would be the source of today's post. Today is July 25, 2024--Rayne's 18th birthday. There are so many things that I want to say about and to Rayne that I know I won't be able to express them all in these last two weeks before he moves into his college dorm. I am going to try my best to say the important things here, so this post is dedicated to Rayne.

First and foremost, I really had no idea how to be a father in 2006. Like I do with just about everything in life, I started out by reading and gathering as much information as possible. Even on the day he was born, it seemed like he didn't play by the book. Angie and I left for the hospital around 5:00 in the morning because her doctor told us that we needed to come to the hospital immediately when Angie's water broke. Angie had tested positive for Group B strep, and the doctor wanted to make sure to start antibiotics to prevent her from passing it on to Rayne. In spite of our rush to get to the hospital, Rayne refused to be born until around 10:30 that night. His birth should have been our first clue that he would write his own book, and I would have to learn how to be his father along the way.

There have been some tragically funny moments along the way, like the day he refused to eat because we surprised him with a trip to Dollywood that he was just not feeling. There have also been some painfully tragic moments, like the dark days when he felt so isolated because of the COVID lockdowns. By the grace of God and the guidance of a fantastic counselor, Rayne has emerged from that depression to be the joyous young man he is today; however, there are still moments when we see signs of the darkness trying to creep back in. Through it all, I have learned so much about this son who made me a father and how to be a better father.

I am not a perfect father--I am not a perfect anything, for that matter--but I can say without any hesitation that I love my son beyond measure. (For the record, I love all three kids beyond measure.) I would say that there have been very few days when I have not made sure to tell him that I love him, and one of the hardest things for me to bear has been his inability to express himself to me in words. I know he loves me, and it brings me so much joy to see him express his love in his own ways. For example, he has started this unusual habit of holding a coaster on Angie's arm while we sit on the couch. He really doesn't like to be touched, and he doesn't say the words very often, but I believe that strange behavior is just a way that he has found to let Angie know he loves her. Being Rayne's father has taught me to look for the subtle ways to know that he loves me.

The theme of today's verse is reminding my son to be wise, and even though he definitely has a unique way of looking at the world, I would say that he is wise beyond his years. Rayne makes good choices, and he sincerely cares about the things that matter to him. I look forward to watching him continue to make wise decisions, even as I have to begin watching him from a distance. Rayne, if you ever read this, I want you to know that you certainly bring my heart joy.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the joy I have in being Rayne's father. In 18 years, he has taught me more about life and love than I have probably taught him. Lord, I pray that you continue to guide, protect, and provide for Rayne as he prepares to begin his life as an adult, and let him know that, no matter where he goes, your love and my love go with him. In the joyous, loving name of Jesus I pray, Amen.